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Dr.A.Nodialstone heading an expeditionary force of a quintet of dials
has conquered the summit of the welsh peak Snowden, which is
particulary difficult at this time of year due to the hoards of nomadic
welsh tribesmen roaming the hills looking for their long lost glory days
and singing loudly as they march.
Before attemping the main objective the party did a few lower altitude
forays in the Caernarfon and Isle of Anglesey areas to assist with acclimatisation
to the peculiar welsh atmosphere especially in the drinking establishments where
the Taffs have a strange habit of conversing in the native tongue if a non welsh
tribe person or persons are present, having been personally evicted from the
Prince Llewellen Hotel at Beggelet for a glib remark about the quality of the so
called "Cock robin" bitter one knows too well the strangeness of the natives.
Since the conquest by Edward I in 1282 and the pillaging of the coalmines later,
the Welsh have hit on hard times even going so far as selling bits of driftwood collected
off the beaches as works of art to the English visitors.
Visiting two old churches Nodialstone commented that they were built
probably after the tribesmen were converted to Christianity by Celtic monks, notably
St.David d.588?, patron saint of Wales, first abbot of Menevia. Calling at an ancient
burial mound led to the quote from persons unknown "that it had more life in it than
Caernarfon".
All was not plain sailing however as word of the imminent attempt spread
to a cell of the infamous Sons of Glendower who attacked the base camp Bron
Dirion with a 2 megatone Eisteddfod anti-personell device which was only thwarted by
the Nodialstone group being immersed in the hot tub at the time, and luckily able
to submerge beneath the water allowing the deadly sound waves to pass harmlessly overhead.
Perhaps the strangest of occurances of the visit
was as the group prepared to make the perilous decent, a figure loomed out of mist riding a ZZR1100 (more grunt
than a trillion pigs) singing "she'll be coming round the mountain" and greeted the leader with the immortal words
"Dr.A.Nodialstone, I Presume ??" , but before a responce could be made he was chased off the top by a group of
welsh nationalist's brandishing huge leeks and bashing him on the helmet shouting "Wales for the Taffies" and "go
home yer e-by-gummer".
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A DOOBYDOO PRODUCTION for SUFFERINGSMOKE